The Girl with the Curly Hair - Asperger's and Me

Often, our hobbies will take preference over relationships with other people. It really helps if an NT partner can understand this, otherwise they might feel hurt. It is not personal, but it might appear that way!

I’ve read that having perfectionist tendencies makes you more likely to be a sufferer of depression. I’ve suffered from a somewhat “neurotic” perfectionism; in the past I’ve not been able to be happy with anything less than one hundred percent and I’ll dwell on mistakes.

In the end, I want to be able to love someone who meets my criteria. I would then be able to give up some of my independence and enjoy a happy relationship.

It may appear that the NT has to make extra effort to make everything work. In return, the AS will probably be one of the most straightforward, faithful, honest and loyal partners they will ever have.

I find CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) very useful. It’s helped me to understand that feelings can’t actually hurt you and that they do go away. Just because I might feel broken, it doesn’t mean I actually am.

My super sensitivity to criticism in addition to my high self-expectations, can overwhelm me.

If you are an NT, it’s extremely important to know that you should never take special interests away from us. These interests are what keep us going! If they are taken away from us, it can cause total mental and emotional destruction. Certainly many people have “hobbies,” but the big difference between the AS and NT in terms of hobbies is that the

Unfortunately though, what happens is that I get upset too. I can then quickly switch from trying to help them to ignoring them, because I am overwhelmed.

Passion may be lacking in the relationship, which could be hard for the NT. Partners may want to explore other ways of being intimate, e.g. massage.