The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self
To avoid the bad feelings, the child slowly learns to identify only with what he thinks of as “good” and to deny anything “bad” as part of who he is. He actually starts limiting his identity to only include what he has come to believe is “acceptable” in the eyes of his parents. Yet another child may despair altogether of getting any good strokes fr
... See moreEva Pierrakos • The Undefended Self: Living the Pathwork
Clinical studies of such children reveal that a preponderance of them have parents who have related to them in either a helpless and fearful way or a hostile and self-referential one. The children of helpless and fearful parents, in particular, have a very difficult time later in life. Their parents tend to be sweet and fragile, not hostile or aggr
... See moreMark Epstein • The Trauma of Everyday Life
She develops an attitude of anxious expectation regarding her needs and the world. Emotional deprivation can have the same effect. If the child is very heart-centered and needs to feel loved in each moment, but her parents withdraw their heart connection whenever they are displeased or just busy with something else, the child feels emotionally aban
... See moreSteven Kessler • The 5 Personality Patterns: Your Guide to Understanding Yourself and Others and Developing Emotional Maturity
We then designed a False Self that met with our parents’ approval and maintained our role in the family. We felt that safety was possible only within those boundaries. Such “boundaries” became the long-standing habits and patterns that have been our limitations ever since. They were choices that had an origin in wisdom but now may no longer be serv
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