The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

We might neglect our future selves because of some failure of belief or imagination.

memento vivi—

The future isn’t written in the stars. There are no guarantees. So claim your adulthood. Be intentional. Get to work. Pick your family. Do the math. Make your own certainty. Don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do. You are deciding your life right now.

I notice that many twentysomethings—especially those who surround themselves with other twentysomethings—have trouble anticipating not death but life.

Confidence doesn’t come from the inside out. It comes from the outside in. People feel less anxious—and more confident—on the inside when they can point to things they have done well on the outside.

“Right now, you’re spending a lot of time hyping the negative emotions,”

She imagined that people at work either had confidence or they didn’t, so any little thing that went wrong on the job suggested she didn’t. Rather than missteps, her mistakes became statements about who she was. Instead of being seen as feedback about what she needed to learn or about where she was in her career—the beginning—every reprimand indica

the twentysomething brain reacts to surprise and criticism—usually emotionally and strongly and negatively—and how this makes many twentysomethings feel like, as one colleague says, leaves in the wind. A good day at work lifts us high in the air while a reprimand from a boss whips us down to the ground.

“The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.”