Nines can be hard to deal with at times, especially when they’ve been so easygoing that they find themselves doing things they don’t want to be doing and so become stubborn or irritable.

making active efforts to connect with themselves as much as they endeavor to stay connected to others.

And overadapting to others eventually creates a sense of dissatisfaction that can leak out through passive-aggressive behavior and lead to the kind of conflict the adaptation was designed to prevent in the first place.

as a way of avoiding the conflict that might arise if they overtly refuse a request, they can often say yes when they mean no. In this way—by passively resisting what others want them to do—they hold on to a sense of independence and avoid being controlled by the desires of others even while seeming to be adaptive and flexible. They may also be una

Remind yourself that experiencing your anger doesn’t mean you have to express it

Nines can actually find it more relaxing and grounding to be by themselves,

Being alone feels relaxing because merging into eating or sleeping or watching TV doesn’t take much effort. But I’ve learned that just staying comfortable doesn’t help me with the important task of regaining autonomy and a sense of myself. For that I need to settle in to the harmony of my own being, which takes a lot of work because I have unresolv

Nines typically don’t just meet others halfway, they lose the ability to access what their positions are and give in to others completely—often without anyone knowing they’ve done it. While Nines often help others to find compromises, they

Forgetting yourself to more easily go along with the wishes and wills of others Observe what happens when you or someone else asks you what you want. If you don’t know, note what it’s like not to know and how you feel when you look for a preference and can’t find one. Tune in to what’s going on when you do have a priority and you distract yourself