
The Choice: Embrace the Possible

And so how do we break these cycles of violence? I think the only way is to see ourselves as both/and, perpetrators and victims, and to look at that really closely and to say, the only way to break that cycle is to acknowledge the traumas and the wounds that inform and create the violence that we enact on others.
Krista Tippett • “You are not alone across time.”
They have not got away with injuring us; their punishment lies in the pain they must be enduring in order to have such an urgent need to lash out. We, who have no wish to hurt, are in fact the stronger party; we, who have no wish to diminish others, are truly powerful. We can move from helpless victims to imaginative witnesses of justice. This may
... See moreAlain De Botton • The School of Life: An Emotional Education
We can be more compassionate. We will inevitably, in the course of therapy, realize how much we were let down by certain people in the past. A natural response might be blame. But the eventual, mature reaction (building on an understanding of how our own flaws arose) will be to interpret others’ harmful behaviour as a consequence of their own distu
... See moreAlain De Botton • The School of Life: An Emotional Education
And yet: we were born to give up what we love. To respect the sanctity of autonomy is to make your choice and let other people make theirs. The only way for us to consolidate our fractured selves—to become whole—is by fully inhabiting our choices.