Sometimes this takes the shape of resistance: I decide a feeling or a situation is bad on the spot and start to fight back before I know what’s there. Other times, this takes the shape of discomfort and shame: I am feeling a new way, so something must be wrong .

If you want to kick-start your shame resilience and story-claiming, start with these questions. Figuring out the answers can change your life: 1. Who do you become when you’re backed into that shame corner? 2. How do you protect yourself? 3. Who do you call to work through the mean-nasties or the cry ’n’ hides or the people-pleasing? 4. What’s the

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It’s hard to tell the truth about ourselves. It opens us up to being judged and rejected. We’re afraid we will be defined by our worst decisions instead of our best. Our impulse is always to hide the evidence, blame someone else, put the things we feel guilty about or that were traumatizing behind us and act like everything is fine. But that robs u

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