Talking about friendship with Heather Havrilesky

Each time we meet and embrace a hidden part of ourselves— something that was rejected in childhood as unacceptable or bad—we create more inner unity. We become more alive by awakening from our numbness and self-rejection.

It’s hard to tell the truth about ourselves. It opens us up to being judged and rejected. We’re afraid we will be defined by our worst decisions instead of our best. Our impulse is always to hide the evidence, blame someone else, put the things we feel guilty about or that were traumatizing behind us and act like everything is fine. But that robs u

First of all, we don’t know what to do with our own pain, so what to do with the pain of others? We don’t know what to do with our own weakness except hide it or pretend it doesn’t exist. So how can we welcome fully the weakness of another,