Stop Walking on Eggshells

it’s important to remember that the up side of splitting (idealization) also has its down side (devaluation).

People with BPD may be inconsistent, thus causing seemingly no-win situations, because they have an inconsistent sense of self.

borderlines who appear to be manipulative usually act impulsively out of fear, loneliness, desperation, and hopelessness—not maliciousness.

For example, many non-BPs said that when their relationships with the BPs were over, the BPs implied that they would kill themselves if the non-BPs did not return. Non-BPs on the receiving end of these threats feel extremely guilty, confused, and worried.

What’s left when we must consistently walk on eggshells with someone is superficial small talk, strained silences, and lots of tension. When safety and intimacy are gone from a relationship, we get used to acting. We pretend that we’re happy when we’re not. We say that everything is fine when it isn’t. What used to be a graceful dance of caring and

After you have validated the BP’s feelings, assert yourself with “my reality” statements.

What kind of relationship is it when one person must have all of the understanding, have all of the forgiveness, and do all of the giving to the needy other?

affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

Fear of Abandonment