Stop Walking on Eggshells

As the level of intimacy rises, so does the degree of the abandonment or engulfment issues, which results in more dramatic behaviors. This

What do I want from this relationship? What do I need from this relationship? How open can I be with my feelings with this person?

“I was concentrating on not abandoning her, no matter what she did. One day, I realized that, instead, I had abandoned myself.”

inner-directed stage Eventually, non-BPs look inward and conduct an honest appraisal of themselves. It takes two people to have a relationship, and the goal for non-BPs in this stage is to better understand their role in making the relationship what it now is. The objective here is not self-recrimination but insight and self-discovery.

“At the heart of [emotional blackmail] is one basic threat, which can be expressed in many different ways: if you don’t behave the way I want you to, you will suffer.”

outer-directed stage

confusion stage This generally occurs before a diagnosis of BPD is known. Non-BPs struggle to understand why borderlines sometimes behave in ways that seem to make no sense. They look for solutions that seem elusive, blame themselves, or resign themselves to living in chaos.

What practical considerations do I need to consider, particularly financial ones?

Unhealthy bonds forged by emotional abuse: Controlling, intimidating, punishing, and isolating behaviors can lead to a lack of motivation, confusion, and difficulty making decisions—all of which can keep people stuck.