interpersonal sensitivity Some people with BPD have an amazing ability to read others and uncover their triggers and vulnerabilities. One clinician jokingly called people with BPD “psychic.” BPs often have an astute ability to identify and use social and nonverbal cues of others. BPs can empathize well with others and often understand and respect h

Borderline behavior takes years to develop; it is ingrained. Don’t expect miracles. Celebrate small steps in the right direction and appreciate the things you enjoy about the person with BPD.

isolation The unpredictable behavior and moodiness of people with BPD can make friendships difficult. That’s because: Making excuses or covering up the borderline’s behavior can be so emotionally exhausting that some people find it’s not worth the effort to sustain friendships. Many non-BPs say that friends often suggest solutions that are simplist

If a friend was in my place and told me the story of this relationship, what advice would I give them?

Some reality statements will be factual (e.g., “When I said that I smelled something burning, I wasn’t commenting on your cooking. I was just noticing a burning odor”). Other reality statements will reflect your opinions (e.g., “I don’t believe that wanting to see a movie with friends is selfish. I think that even when two people are married, it’s

How does this relationship affect my self-esteem?

When am I currently the most content: when I am with this person, when I am alone, or when I am with others?

“I will not discuss this further with you if you continue to yell and scream at me. I am willing to be supportive if you can calmly tell me what it is that you want or need.” Note that you’ve given the BP a choice and made it clear that his or her actions will be responsible for your temporary withdrawal. If the raging continues, immediately retrea

Do you feel like the person you care about sees you as either all good or all bad, with nothing in between? Is there sometimes no rational reason for the switch?