Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too

So, if there are any toys you don’t want anyone else to touch or use, you can let each other know what they are and where you plan to keep them, and we’ll respect that.”

that most of the things in the house are for sharing.

it’s perfectly normal and natural to have different feelings towards different children?

“You are the only ‘you’ in the whole wide world. No one could ever take your place.”

“But I also explained that some things are so special or so new or so delicate—like

By putting the children in charge of the sharing. (“Kids, I bought one bottle of bubble soap for everyone. What’s the best way to share it?”) 2. By pointing out the advantages of sharing. (“If you give her half of your red crayon, and she gives you half of her blue crayon, you’ll both be able to make purple.”) 3. By allowing time for inner process.

She had each boy pegged, locked into his role, and was totally oblivious to the damage she was doing—not only to each boy individually, but to their future relationship.

I had always been aware of the part that parents played in shaping their children’s lives, but never until this moment had I considered how powerfully siblings could affect each other’s destiny. Yet

Normally this would have been my cue to launch into a put-down of the baby in order to build Michael up, to say something like, “Yeah, but the baby can’t talk or walk and she has to wear diapers.” But