Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too

If somehow either one of us had been made aware of the great affection and admiration that we each felt for the other, it would have been a big help to both of us.

Schedule family meetings.

Don’t get trapped by “togetherness.”

if we had really known how we felt about each other when we were kids.

We suggest that if children are going through a period where there’s constant irritation between them, the parents ought not subject them to “togetherness.” It could only serve to drive them further apart.

Let each child know what it is about him that his siblings like or admire.

And so, even though I admired him so much, I mustered every ounce of my strength to fight him. I felt I had to do everything in my power to get back at him—to hurt him before he could hurt me.

But it sure wasn’t obvious to us.

There is no way that we as parents can mandate a fixed, close, loving relationship between our children. However, what we can do, with skills and goodwill, is remove the usual obstacles to sibling harmony, so that when our children are ready to reach out to one another, the road is clear.