She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (Kerner)

So you must learn to navigate her desire. This cannot be done via force, bargaining, or guilt. It can be done only by careful, deliberate request. When she says no, ask again. And again. You’re not trying to look good here, you’re trying to make your woman happy. These are two very different results. When she says no, do not turn away in rejection.

Interestingly, receivers value this instruction just as much as their strokers. When she knows he’s focusing on his own pleasure, it takes some of the pressure off. Performance anxiety can be a big part of a receiver’s early OM practice. We women may be tempted to default to old habits of augmenting our experience,

During the early stages of OMing, the stroke is cultivating the woman’s ability to receive and respond to pleasure—in other words, freeing her orgasm. With every stroke old blockages start to thaw. Soon, the icebergs of shame and repression and parental disapproval and embarrassment—icebergs that are holding her desire hostage—start breaking up. Ov

Some women, because of their need to guard and protect their wounded heart, would actually prefer that you ejaculate. That way, they never have to open all the way, or expose their depths to your touch. They know that after some oral sex and maybe a half-hour of intercourse, you will ejaculate, and it will be over. They don’t want to feel you persi