Doing things that don’t make you happy Lacking balance (harmony) in your roles and

Loaning money to people because you feel obligated or when you don’t have the funds to do so

You allow too much flexibility. You speak in uncertain terms. You haven’t verbalized your boundaries (they’re all in your head).

When we’re resentful, we do things out of obligation to others instead of for the joy of helping. Resentment can be palpable.

9 Potential Reasons Why You Can’t Sufficiently Set a Boundary You fear being mean. You fear being rude. You’re a people-pleaser. You’re anxious about future interactions after a boundary has been set. You feel powerless (and not sure that boundaries will help). You get your value from helping others. You project your feelings about being told no on

Along with not being a solution, complaining—much like gossiping—builds resentment. As we air our grievances, we become more frustrated and annoyed, reinforcing the belief that others are doing things to us. We don’t stop to evaluate what we’re allowing to happen by not setting clear boundaries.

Boundaries are expectations and needs that help you feel safe and comfortable in your relationships.

Being honest and up front (from the beginning, if possible) about what you expect and what you can offer will save you and your partner lots of heartache and arguments.

Avoidance wasn’t an effective strategy for me, and it isn’t for you either. In the gentlest way possible, say “No, thanks, that doesn’t work for me; I’m not interested.” Or, “No, you can’t borrow my car.” Don’t waste your time and anyone else’s time hoping they will figure it out.