Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

Healthy romantic relationships allow us to realize that actually, we are valuable and worthy of care, that others can be trusted to meet our needs.

We often become scared and angry when we focus on undesired aspects of ourselves or our lives. We feel helpless and frustrated by our inability to control things—to get what we want, to be who we want to be. We rail against things as they are, and we cling to our narrow vision of how things should be.

Once I stopped cringing and found the bravery to look closely, I could see more precisely where I had gone wrong.

When we consistently give ourselves nurturance and understanding, we also come to feel worthy of care and acceptance. When we give ourselves empathy and support, we learn to trust that help is always at hand. When we wrap ourselves in the warm embrace of self-kindness, we feel safe and secure.

we can delight in what’s wonderful about our lives rather than dwelling solely on problems and limitations. We can start to pursue our dreams rather than merely ward off dangers.

By honoring the limitations of our own human imperfection, we can be more forgiving of others’ mistakes.

The past doesn’t exist except in our memories, and the future doesn’t exist except in our imagination.

This is largely because they’re not so afraid of failure. Among a group of undergraduates who had recently failed a midterm exam, for example, we found that self-compassionate students were more likely to reinterpret their failure as a growth opportunity rather than as a condemnation of self-worth. When you can trust that failure will be greeted wi

friends. In sum, the study found that self-compassionate people are better able to create close, authentic, and mutually supportive friendships than those who are self-critical.