Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

we can delight in what’s wonderful about our lives rather than dwelling solely on problems and limitations. We can start to pursue our dreams rather than merely ward off dangers.

As if excluding them was even possible.

“Positivity opens us. The first core truth about positive emotions is that they open our hearts and minds, making us more receptive and more creative.”

The goal of the walk is to notice as many pleasant things as possible, so that you are generating an upbeat frame of mind.

If you can compassionately validate your own feelings, gently reminding yourself that it’s only natural for you to feel the way you do, you won’t have to speak louder and louder in order to feel heard. You can tell yourself what you really want to hear in the moment, “I’m so sorry you’re feeling hurt and frustrated right now, what can I do to help?

Not only does self-criticism create anxiety, it can also lead to psychological tricks designed to prevent self-blame in the case of failure, which in turn makes failure more likely. The tendency to undermine your performance in ways that create a plausible excuse for failing is known as “self-handicapping.” One common form of self-handicapping is s

After many long conversations, it soon became clear that Diane’s desire to control really stemmed from fear.

Our research indicates that self-compassionate people tend to be more authentic and autonomous in their lives, whereas those who lack self-compassion tend to be more conformist because they don’t want to risk social judgment or rejection.

friends. In sum, the study found that self-compassionate people are better able to create close, authentic, and mutually supportive friendships than those who are self-critical.