quests, failure, desire
The typical unhappy man is one who, having been deprived in youth of some normal satisfaction, has come to value this one kind of satisfaction more than any other, and has therefore given to his life a one-sided direction, together with a quite undue emphasis upon the achievement as opposed to the activities connected with it.
Bertrand Russell • The Conquest of Happiness
Such things are the rule because individuals are usually squarely in the Emotional Trap at the time important long-term decisions are made. Their “romantic” notions discourage them from wanting to think of what the relationship might be like a few years hence if handled in the normal ways.
Harry Browne • How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
Other people hold off entirely from starting on important projects or embarking on intimate relationships in the first place because they can’t bear the anxiety of having committed themselves to something that might or might not work out happily in practice.
Oliver Burkeman • Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals
Here, for the enduring pattern, the attempt to get something collapses into “You have it. I want it. I can’t get it.” or “You have it. I want it. I’ve failed.”