Persuasion: Convincing Others When Facts Don't Seem to Matter
In a difficult conversation your primary task is not to persuade, impress, trick, outwit, convert, or win over the other person. It is to express what you see and why you see it that way, how you feel, and maybe who you are. Self-knowledge and the belief that what you want to share is important will take you significantly further than eloquence and
... See moreRoger Fisher • Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
Negotiate in their world. Persuasion is not about how bright or smooth or forceful you are. It’s about the other party convincing themselves that the solution you want is their own idea. So don’t beat them with logic or brute force. Ask them questions that open paths to your goals. It’s not about you.
Chris Voss • Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
To sum up: Use your own language; never use your opponent’s language. Be aware of what you believe and repeat it out loud over and over; never repeat ideas that you don’t believe in, even if you are arguing against them. Be positive. Be authentic. Bring it home. Say it simply.
George Lakoff • The Little Blue Book: The Essential Guide to Thinking and Talking Democratic
how do you make people believe what you believe? How do you make people feel what you feel? In recent years I've gradually been overtaken by the idea that I can be most useful by being clear.