Instead of being cause for celebration, things like praise, financial rewards, and status can feel oppressive. You think, Now they’ll expect me to be that good every time—and I have no idea how I pulled it off the first time. Rather than spurring you on, success may lead you to drop out altogether.

Ever since I was a teen, my drive to be productive has been a key strategy of my wanting self. When I feel insecure, producing—whether it is a finished article, a stack of paid bills or a clean kitchen—is my most readily accessible device for feeling worthwhile. This producing is not simply the natural urge to be creative and contribute to the mix