
On Being Nice (The School of Life Library)

What they will do is devalue whatever (or whoever) is not giving them what they need. They will call it names, or declare it to be stupid, weak, wrong, lame, incompetent, etc. If you’re not giving them what they need, the put-down will be directed at you. If you can hear the need behind the put-down, you can respond to that and give them…
Some highl
Steven Kessler • The 5 Personality Patterns: Your Guide to Understanding Yourself and Others and Developing Emotional Maturity
Just so, when we wish to benefit others, we start by developing warmth or friendship for ourselves. It’s common, however, for people to have a distorted view of this friendliness and warmth. We’ll say, for instance, that we need to take care of ourselves, but how many of us really know how to do this? When clinging to security and comfort and wardi
... See morePema Chodron • Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears
It will be some time before titles such as ‘Climb Out Of Your Own Arse’ populate the shelves dedicated to self-improvement. Possibly, with a resurgence of interest in the lessons of ancient philosophy, we might one day realise that a large part of improving the ‘self’ is to shift the focus from ‘self’ to ‘other’. As I have written elsewhere, the he
... See moreDerren Brown • Happy: Why More or Less Everything is Absolutely Fine
Have respect and courtesy for others and for yourself.