A big worry in a competitive world is that we feel we can’t afford to be honest about how distressed or obsessed we are. Saying that one feels like a failure or a pervert could mean being dropped. The good listener signals that they don’t see us in these terms. Our vulnerability is something they warm to rather than being appalled by.

It will be some time before titles such as ‘Climb Out Of Your Own Arse’ populate the shelves dedicated to self-improvement. Possibly, with a resurgence of interest in the lessons of ancient philosophy, we might one day realise that a large part of improving the ‘self’ is to shift the focus from ‘self’ to ‘other’. As I have written elsewhere, the he

There is a particular way of discussing oneself which, however long it goes on for, never fails to win friends, reassure audiences, comfort couples, bring solace to the single and buy the goodwill of enemies: the confession of vulnerability.