No More Mr. Nice Guy

I went to therapy to find out why I couldn’t finish my book. My children became disillusioned, predicting that I never would finish. My wife half-seriously threatened to leave me if I didn’t finish. Finally, after years of frustration, I had a breakthrough. A very wise person suggested that I give myself permission to never publish the book.

Puts the Nice Guy in charge of his own sexual needs ■Removes dependency on unavailable partners or pornography

It put him in a position to make difficult but realistic decisions.

The Nice Guy Syndrome represents a belief that if Nice Guys are “good,” they will be loved, get their needs met, and live a problem-free life.

Nice Guys try to control their world by creating belief systems about people and situations that are not based in reality. They then act as if these beliefs are accurate. This is why their behavior often seems illogical to outside observers.

Since telling the truth may create a crisis for you or others, have faith that everyone involved will survive this crisis.

Since Nice Guys learned to sacrifice themselves in order to survive, recovery must center on learning to put themselves first and making their needs a priority.

By now, he is focused on Hannah’s arousal and trying to anticipate how to stimulate her just enough to get her in the mood without doing too much to make her angry. Finally, because she hasn’t rebuffed his advances, he rolls her over and for the next twenty minutes focuses all of his attention on her arousal until she has an orgasm.

Striving for perfection keeps Nice Guys focused on their imperfections.