Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

I just knew we needed to trust the process. I wrote a two-page document that instructed Benjie to change course. We were going to use nearly every tactic in the active listening arsenal:

Too often people flail in their disagreements because they either don’t know or don’t think about how they should engage effectively; they just blurt out whatever they think and argue.

Generally the best way to manage conflict in a way that safeguards a relationship is to look for standards or fair principles to guide a resolution, rather than trying to haggle with or intimidate the other person.

We do this all the time. We think someone is angry with us, so we respond aggressively to a gesture and they become angry with us. See? We were right all along. We think a customer isn’t going to give us business, so we don’t pursue them, and they don’t renew our contract. We knew it! Our neglect was justified. What can we do about it? As Einstein