Semrad taught us that most human suffering is related to love and loss and that the job of therapists is to help people “acknowledge, experience, and bear” the reality of life—with all its pleasures and heartbreak. “The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves,” he’d say, urging us to be honest with ourselves about every fac

Awakening and suffering always go together. Without the one, we can’t have the other. If we run away from our suffering, we will never be able to find awakening. So it’s okay to suffer—we just need to learn how to handle it.

means to stop defending yourself against your own pain and allow your point of view—your narrative story about your suffering—to open up to new and unexpected perspectives. Holding your suffering in the felicity of love instead of the self-justifying or self-loathing narrative of ego protectionism is the key that unlocks the door to greater freedom