Life Not Wasted

Being primitive and immature, your parts had to protect you in extreme ways because that was all they were capable of. You didn’t have the experience and the inner resources of an adult, so your parts had to do what they could—shut you down completely, throw a tantrum, become overly pleasing—whatever seemed to work. In this way the Self got eclipse

This approach is fundamentally different from the way we ordinarily relate to our parts. Usually when we become aware of a part (or a feeling or behavior pattern), the first thing we do is evaluate it. Is it good or bad for us? If we decide it is good, we embrace it and act from it. If we decide it is bad, we try to get rid of it. We tell it to go

These goal capacities are aspects of Self. When you have completed a piece of IFS work, you will have access to certain capacities of Self to make your life successful.