Life Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age

“You do not have to suffer to learn, but if you don’t learn from suffering . . . then your life becomes truly meaningless.”

lifequake: a forceful burst of change that leads to a period of upheaval, transition, and renewal.

namely, the transition and renewal? How do those happen? The short answer: by choice. The person going through the experience has to choose to convert the change and upheaval into transition and renewal. The initial jolt can be voluntary or involuntary, but the transition must be voluntary. You have to make your own meaning. Let’s start with an exa

personal versus collective and voluntary versus involuntary.

An autobiographical occasion is any moment when we are encouraged or obliged to reimagine who we are. It’s a narrative event, when our existing life story is altered or redirected in some way, forcing us to revisit our preexisting identity and modify it for our life going forward.

In the end, we identified three key ingredients of a well-balanced life. Let’s call them the ABCs of meaning. The A is agency—autonomy, freedom, creativity, mastery; the belief that you can impact the world around you. The B is belonging—relationships, community, friends, family; the people that surround and nurture you. The C is cause—a calling, a

Agency is so important that even deluding yourself that you have it can improve your life. Merely understanding a problem, even if you can’t do anything about it, gives you a sense of control. By forcing yourself to learn what’s happening to you, you come to accept it. You become an agent in your own meaning-making.

We found that 87 percent of lifequakes were personal, 13 percent collective.

The second biggest category was personal and voluntary.