It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

what started out looking like adversity was actually grace in disguise.

Our complaints, symptoms, and problems can function as signposts pointing us in the direction of something that’s still unresolved. They can help bring something to light that we cannot see or connect us with something or someone we, or our family, have rejected. When we stop and explore them, what’s unresolved can rise to the surface, adding a new

Sometimes, the heart must break in order to open.

Because your father’s sperm continues to develop throughout adolescence and adulthood, his sperm continues to be susceptible to traumatic imprints almost up until the point when you are conceived.

Hellinger believes that the mechanism behind these repetitions is unconscious loyalty, and views unconscious loyalty as the cause of much suffering in families. Unable to identify the source of their symptoms as belonging to an earlier generation, people often assume that the source of their problem is their own life experience, and are left helple

The particulars of the events that shaped their lives may be obscured from our vision, but nevertheless, the impact of those particulars can be deeply felt. It’s not only what we inherit from our parents but also how they were parented that influences how we relate to a partner, how we relate to ourselves, and how we nurture our children. For bette

Yehuda reports that children of fathers who had PTSD are “probably more prone to depression or chronic stress responses.”

In our fear and anxiety, we often try to control our environment to feel safe.

is arrogant and inflated to think that we, as children, are better equipped to handle our parents’ suffering than they are.