I Owe You One: The Number One Sunday Times Bestseller

Thank God. Saved from a six-hour anecdote about a trout.

As if I was a juice fast, or a series of TED talks.

But I think you need to start thinking less about what you owe other people and more about what you owe yourself.’

For about the hundredth time I wonder if we could send Greg on a course. A course on Not Being Greg.

And I’ve got here early because … Well. Just to watch and enjoy.

‘You forgive the person and you endlessly rationalize and you forget

So instead I’m zapping her lots of smiley faces and emojis of shiny suns and sailboats, and dodging the truth altogether. (Maybe that’s what emojis were invented for in the first place, and I’ve just been using them wrong. They’re not there to convey thoughts in a fun way, they’re there to lie to your mum.

I watch silently as she starts filing my nails. The rhythmic action of her file is kind of mesmerizing and soothing. It’s reassuring. For both of us, I suspect.

I used to yearn so hard for the sunshine of Jake’s approval. But now I’m feeling a different kind of glow. Conviction that we’re doing the right thing.