“To love somebody is not just a strong feeling—it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise,” writes psychologist Erich Fromm. “If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and de

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Within the body you are wearing, now

inside the bones and beating in the heart,

lives the one you have been searching for so long.

But you must stop running away and shake hands,

the meeting doesn’t happen

without your presence . . . your participation.

The same one waiting for you there

is moving in the trees, glistening on the water,

growing in t... See more

“When you fall in love, it doesn’t feel like a choice,” a friend of mine says. “It feels like fate. And so then when the passionate love cools in your marriage, it’s hard to feel like that’s not fate, too. It’s hard to remember that letting yourself fall in love with this person and marrying them was a choice, and loving them again can be a choice,

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“What I am about to say may at first sound depressing and even cynical, but I think you will not find it so in practice. There are three things I would have you bear in mind. The first is that as you now behold one another, you are probably seeing each other at your best. All things disintegrate in time, and as the years go by you will tend to get

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