I Felt Important

This is a common phase for those who embark on new paths, and it can be difficult to balance the confusing feelings of excitement about an uncertain journey with the fear-driven impulse to make money right now!

Nine months into self-employment, I had landed four different projects and proved to myself that I could “make it” working on my own. But I had a problem: those projects were the same kind I had done in my consulting career, and as my financial anxiety diminished, I discovered that I didn’t actually want to build a life around this kind of work.

I wanted to be of service to others and be appreciated for my gifts. I wanted to be intellectually challenged, thinking at a strategic level and determining efficient action plans toward great accomplishments. I wanted to work with people, and I needed flexibility and control of my schedule.

For me, it has been disorienting to spend most of my time writing without any promise of monetary rewards after a decade of getting paid for every single hour I worked.