We have to stop thinking of the child as a “problem” that needs correction. We have to give up the idea that because we’re adults we always have the right answer. We have to stop worrying that if we’re not “tough enough” the child will take advantage of us. It requires a great act of faith to believe that if we take the time to sit down and share o

This distinction between the person and his behavior paves the way for clarity about what is sacred and what is not. Your child’s self—his thoughts and feelings—are sacred and your goal should be to understand and accept them. Trying to change your child’s thoughts or feelings is unlikely to succeed and will most likely impair your relationship wit

But making a toddler feel heard, rather than telling her “no” and “don’t” all the time, respects her need to save face and makes her more likely to respond with compliance.