yelled that it isn’t fair, IT JUST ISN’T FAIR!! (These are things he has said to me in the past.) And then the magic happened. I saw it in his face. He sobbed with relief, hugged me as hard as he could, and said, “I love you so much, Mommy!”

All feelings can be accepted. Some actions must be limited!

The important thing is that she has a parent who listens to how she feels when she yearns for something,

Even though you know . . .

It’s important to be genuine when you acknowledge feelings. Nobody likes to feel manipulated. Reach inside and find that emotion. Be real!

The gift we can give them is to not get in the way of their process by jumping in with our reactions: advice, questions, corrections.

“Why did you throw sand when I just told you not to?” What child says, “Hmm, why did I? I guess there’s no good reason. Thanks for pointing that out. It won’t happen again.”

It’s very hard to learn to tell an uncomfortable truth. We help our children face up to this challenge when we minimize the accusations, let them know we understand how they feel, and show them how to make amends.

When kids are unhappy, we don’t have to prop them up with frantic praise. It’s more helpful to say, “Ugh, you are not happy with the way that bicycle came out. It doesn’t look like what you see in your head. It’s not easy to draw a bike. It’s hard to put something from real life onto a flat piece of paper and get it to look right.”