How to Love (Mindful Essentials)

The most precious inheritance that parents can give their children is their own happiness.

When I meet a couple who live together and are happy, I propose that they set up a regularly structured time of deep listening to help them stay happy together. Deep listening is, most of all, the practice of being present for our loved one.

Reverence is the nature of our love.

If you don’t reconcile with yourself, happiness with another person is impossible.

I think of our behavior in terms of being more or less skillful rather than in terms of good and bad. If you are skillful, you can avoid making yourself suffer and the other person suffer. If there’s something you want to tell the other person, then you have to say it, but do so skillfully, in a way that leads to less rather than more suffering.

To love is, first of all, to accept ourselves as we actually are.

If you walk with true awareness of every step, without having a goal to get anywhere, happiness will arise naturally. You don’t need to look for happiness.

to love someone, you have to understand the real needs of that person, and not impose on her what you think is needed for her to be happy. Understanding is the foundation of love.

We can also call it inclusiveness or nondiscrimination. In a deep relationship, there’s no longer a boundary between you and the other person.