How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

Most human relationships consist mainly of minds interacting with each other, not of human beings communicating, being in communion. No relationship can thrive in that way, and that is why there is so much conflict in relationships. When the mind is running your life, conflict, strife, and problems are inevitable. Being in touch with your inner bod

Some specific ways of practicing love are by showing what I call the “five A’s”: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing.

A commitment to an essential bond—an enduring “given” of mutuality—that weathers the stresses and crises of change. This bond is unconditional. If “someone else has come along” who is more attractive, more fun, “just right,” it will be taken only as information about the charms of the new person or the deficits of the present relationship. It will

Learn to give expression to what you feel without blaming. Learn to listen to your partner in an open, nondefensive way. Give your partner space for expressing himself or herself. Be present. Accusing, defending, attacking — all those patterns that are designed to strengthen or protect the ego or to get its needs met will then become redundant. Giv