How to Avoid Half-Heartedness

So, our crushes often exist to tell us what we are looking for within ourselves. They tell us where our ambition is pointing. And that's quite useful. Because if you don't think you know what you want, or where you want to go, or what you want to do, or what you want to be more of, just look at your crushes:

What do they all have in common that mak... See more

I know that limerence can be misleading. It can be the beginning of a good relationship, or a complete disaster. If someone feels like the answer to the question of your life, you might want to address the fundamental sense of lack that they are triggering.

I think that people come alive when they’re serious about what they love—when they choose to pay careful attention to what feeds and sustains them. I love this one Heather Havrilesky line about how crushes are often just misplaced ambition. Of course crushes are more than that—they’re about nostalgia and magic and futures we’ll never access—but I t... See more

Figuring out what you want is the central task of adulthood, and it’s not an easy one.

Once you leave formal schooling, you’re catapulted into a world with infinite possibilities. You no longer have to show up at school to avoid detention or ace tests to make your parents proud. You’re finally unshackled from the training wheels of life, and now you... See more