Holding Space: On Loving, Dying, and Letting Go

We must see that spirituality is a continual movement away from compartmentalization and separation and toward embracing all of life. We must especially learn the art of directing mindfulness into the closed areas of our life. When we do, we will face the patterns from personal history, the conditioning that shields us from the pains of the past. T

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We are the product of several generations of ungrieved wounds. Focused on survival, our ancestors had little choice but to retaliate or repress the wrongs that had been done to them, so that they could persevere. But with so few elders in our midst who teach about the importance of grieving, or who create culture and ritual around honouring grief,

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In the aftermath of the tragic, when silence or “being with” or an embrace may be the only appropriate responses, then only embodied presence will do. Its consolations are irreplaceable. 

When another friend had a miscarriage, we brought her a basketful of treasures, including some Japanese paper for writing goodbyes, some rose oil and beeswax candles for a ritual bath, and wildflower seeds to plant in memory of the life that briefly visited her. These small but symbolic items invited her to befriend her loss, to be in conversation

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