Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction

In my clinical practice, 9 out of 10 men who present with a sexual addiction also have an extremely low emotional IQ.

A vital component of a man’s sexual recovery is to learn techniques to assist him in reducing the anxiety he experiences when emotions arise so he can remain engaged instead of simply being present.

By not identifying and understanding the reason(s) why we abuse sex, we are limiting our ability to manage our lust. You don’t know what you don’t know.

“He doesn’t talk.” It is a comment I often hear from women who have lived with men struggling with sexual addiction.

your inner child is trapped in a distressing time-warp where various traumas and neglect took place. Unfortunately, his method of decision making is grounded entirely on emotional-thinking skills.

their lives lacked stimulation.

Instead, they use sex as a self-soothing tool that produces an adrenaline rush powerful enough to block out troubling emotional distresses.

But worst of all, they cannot determine what others are feeling beyond secondary emotions. They cannot empathize and seek out additional information from others who are expressing their feelings. Instead, they seek to shut down the individual, fix their problem, or dismiss them — all to reduce their own anxiety.

This inner child HATES feeling any emotions except those that are pleasurable. Remember, his goal is always to seek comfort. The inner child of a man who has a low emotional IQ is hypervigilant and on the alert for troubling emotions experienced internally as well as those expressed by others.