think of all the men I’ve liked over the years, a new crush pretty much every month when I was single, and now every few years I’ve been married, and how each time I’ve thought, How novel! This is delightful and new! When really it’s the same, over and over again. I look at old diaries and I see a pattern going back to sixth grade: attraction comes

“you are in for a bout with the unknown. Even that person has no idea what is in store for him and where he will be asked to go next. So when we agree to share lives, we are offering to be part of a dynamic, unpredictable adventure.”

she wondered if her parents had ever been in love or if they had got married because marriage was something you did at the appropriate time with the nearest available person. A game where you grabbed the first person you could find when the music stopped.

• People tend to be bad at knowing what they want from a relationship


• Society has it all wrong and gives us terrible advice

• Our Biology Is Doing Us No Favors