Games and Rituals

Ickes finds that the longer many couples are married, the less accurate they are at reading each other. They lock in some early version of who their spouse is, and over the years, as the other person changes, that version stays fixed—and they know less and less about what’s actually going on in the other’s heart and mind.

of cruelty and paperwork to undo that just because you didn’t know you wouldn’t want it once you had it.” “Only drunk people talk about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs,” Seth said. I ignored him. This was who Seth was going to marry. But