This meant starting to do things he had stopped doing because of anxiety and instead being willing to be anxious while doing them.

We should also be more careful when pursuing things we imagine will spare us anxiety. We can head for them by all means, but for other reasons than fantasies of calm, and with a little less vigour and a little more scepticism. We will still be anxious when we finally have the house, the relationship and the right income.

For people who run the aggressive pattern, the final step in becoming able to contain and regulate their own energy is learning how to function without using adrenaline. This means learning to function from a calm, centered inner state rather than from an adrenalized, revved up state. For those readers who have studied the nervous system, it means