Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power (A method for getting what you want by getting off on what you don't)

To cast a spell is to communicate with your personal unconscious and the collective unconscious in a way that generates specific results through synchronicity. Believe it or not, you are casting spells at every single moment. Your words, your actions, the looks you give yourself in the mirror and the looks you give to other people. Your clothes. Yo

I have this terrible relationship because my unconscious secretly likes feeling maniacally controlled by an evil outside agency.

Does this feeling of guilt come from a sense of wanting to control the situation? By feeling guilty, do I think I'll somehow change the situation, or at least get the approval of others? Am I willing to stop trying to use this feeling of guilt to get a sense of control? Am I willing to stop trying to use this feeling of guilt to manipulate others i

a lot of people around the world deliberately choose to engage in painful experiences—flogging, bondage, having hot wax dripped on them—and derive pleasure and satisfaction from those experiences.

Consider: the unconscious rules not only our night-time dreams, but to a great extent (a far, far greater extent than is comfortable for us to acknowledge)—it also rules the patterns, desires, and curiosities that shape our waking experience. Our day-to-day waking experience is also a kind of dream—more dense and more slow-moving than our nighttime

Finding and healing the unconscious, lack-obsessed part of you with deep erotic love (not weak-sauce “acceptance”) is the essence of Existential Kink.

am totally, 100% committed to doubting my own value and worth.

“It's okay for me to feel my forbidden, wicked enjoyment of this custody battle with my ex,” and as you say that, you notice that you feel a subtle electric jolt of sensation jump from your throat to your solar plexus. That jolt of sensation is important to pay attention to. It means that there's truth in your statement because the

“I'm totally allowed to have this weird enjoyment of XYZ. I don't need to shame it, I don't need to regret it, I don't need to deny it.” “I'm allowed to want exactly what I want, even if it's ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ or ‘destructive.’”