Exhausted Wives, Bewildered Husbands: Why your marriage is hurting, and how to blossom as a couple

When just starting out, the two people may need to overcome resentment which has built up under the surface and festered under their wounds. Detached individuals will likely feel a surge of anxiety the first several times they contemplate opening up. In time, if both parties follow this communication style and use it consistently, both issues shoul

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I have had pre-breakup discussions with a few women I was starting to get serious with and they all appreciated it. I told them that they won’t have to guess if I am losing interest – that I will sit down and talk with them about how I am feeling. This made the women feel safe about letting go and getting more deeply involved with me. When we did b

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But here is a simple formula about relationships to keep in mind: in a context that maintains a secure connection, intimacy = shared values + shared vulnerabilities. Psychological flexibility allows us to stay focused on nurturing intimacy even when we are angry or hurt. It helps us weather the stresses that are inevitable in any close relationship

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need you to accept—often and readily—the possibility that you might be at fault, without this feeling to you like the end of the world. You have to allow that I can have a legitimate criticism and still love you. I need you to be undefensive. I need you to own up to what you are embarrassed or awkward about in yourself. I need you to know how to ac

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