Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
In a difficult conversation your primary task is not to persuade, impress, trick, outwit, convert, or win over the other person. It is to express what you see and why you see it that way, how you feel, and maybe who you are. Self-knowledge and the belief that what you want to share is important will take you significantly further than eloquence and
... See moreRoger Fisher • Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
No matter how good you get at reframing, the single most important rule about managing the interaction is this: You can’t move the conversation in a more positive direction until the other person feels heard and understood. And they won’t feel heard and understood until you’ve listened. When the other person becomes highly emotional, listen and ack... See more
Sheila Heen • Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
A better approach is to make the subject clear and discussable by stating your thoughts straight out, while also indicating, honestly, that you are interested in whether the other person sees the situation differently and, if so, how: “Based on what I know, it seems to me that you might have gotten more done. However, you know more about what happe
... See moreRoger Fisher • Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
The point is, we are more likely to avoid this kind of problem in the future if we are more careful to communicate clearly.