Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition

Second, stakes are high.

You can measure the health of relationships, teams, and organizations by measuring the lag time between when problems are identified and when they are resolved.

“What do I really want?” “What should I do right now to move toward what I really want?”

Pattern. The next time the same problem comes up, think pattern. Now the concern is not just that this has happened once, but that a pattern is starting to develop, or already has.

Path to Action

First, clarify what you really want.

“What do I really want for myself in the long term?” helps us shift our focus from our immediate, near-term desires to a more profound consideration of who we want to be: “What kind of person do I want to be?” “How do I want to treat others?” “How do I need to show up in this conversation in order to be that kind of person?”

“How can we have a candid conversation and strengthen our relationships?”

create the key condition that allows you to talk with almost anyone about almost anything: safety