Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After

Releasing a relationship in a way that leaves your heart happy and light, open and free to love again, is a conscious choice you must make a thousand times a day, as you deliberately turn your attention away from the past and make a concerted effort to align your energies with the creation of a bright and positive future. To do this you must become

When you complain, you make yourself into a victim…So change the situation…leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness. ECKHART TOLLE

As you make the dreaded shift from being one who is wanted to being one who is unwanted, from one who is loved to one who is not loved, from being special to now being ordinary and decidedly not special. This shift in identity can easily be internalized as proof that your worst fears about yourself and your life may well be true: that you will neve

As difficult as it may be to tolerate the shadow emotions of love, it’s often best to let your heart be. Stop pushing to get rid of sorrow too quickly with a steel will. Rather, make time to cry, pausing to notice how desperately your body needs to sing its sad song without your trying to muscle your way around and beyond it. Something within you i

“I know you’re hurting, honey, but hurt is the risk we take when we open our heart to care about someone. Everyone gets his or her heart hurt at one time or another. I promise you, you’ll heal.”

His sorrow cannot help but be compounded by an environment that is a shrine to all that no longer exists, perpetually pulling his attention backwards with little room for new life to emerge.

You are each responsible only for your own growth in this regard; neither of you should bear the burden of trying to fix the other, nor should either of you feel compelled to hold up a mirror to point out the missing development of one another.

It is the adult part of you that knows that although life is not always fair, it is fundamentally good to be alive. That when one door closes, another will soon open. That you’re not missing your former love as much as you’re missing the person you thought he or she was. That no matter how much this breakup hurts, it’s best for everyone that the re

You have to consciously create the possibility of an affirmative future while coming to terms with the painful loss of the future you’d envisioned.