Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief

We are touched by what Virgil, in The Aeneid, called “the tears in things.” We appreciate that built into all existence is a grief about impermanence; a vulnerability to disappointment, hurt, and loss; a resignation to suffering. That touches us both as participants in the givens of the human story and as loving witnesses to it.

However, cultivating gratitude for difficult people and experiences doesn’t feel “natural.” It certainly isn’t easy. Nor is it required in the work of holding space. We can still be compassionately and mindfully present to what is, even if “what is” is something that we would never wish to know. It is often terribly difficult to be open to grief an

Whenever tragic loss occurs, you either resist or you yield.

Grief is an individual journey, and there are no rules to follow nor laws you can break. It takes as long as it takes (forever, in my case, and maybe in yours, too), so there’s no point in judging yourself or others for not “getting over it” swiftly enough.