He opens his briefcase a crack and takes out a brown bottle. “Here,” he says, “take a couple Serenadons. These are the best antianxiety treatment ever invented.” They just don’t exist yet. “Just pretend,” he says, “for the placebo effect.” And he shakes two into my hand.

It was the same story all over New Jersey, in bars, bowling alleys, diners, places to live. I was always being forced to leave, silently, or with mutual imprecations. I very shortly became notorious and children giggled behind me when I passed and their elders whispered or shouted—they really believed that I was mad. And it did begin to work on my

Al mes de haber recibido mi condena, mis huesos ya habían sanado; pero yo no lograba acostumbrarme a la prisión. Era horrible, mucho peor de lo que había imaginado. No dormía. Tenía pesadillas. Me entraban a coñazos los blancos y los negros por latino, y los mexicanos y salvadoreños por venezolano. Tenía que cagar en una poceta de hierro al lado de

I walked home with my deliquescing cock in my work pants, pretty much having forgotten I may have impregnated a very young girl, wondering what the fuck it was going to take to make me feel whole again, now that I knew it wasn’t sex. Enter drugs.