8 Rules of Love: The Sunday Times bestsellling guide on how to find lasting love and enjoy healthy relationships, from the author of Think Like A Monk

Do you have a dream you’d like to fulfill one day—a job, a trip, an accomplishment? What would you like to change about your life?

if you think your partner should do what you want when you want, I want to change how you look at your partner. That’s not a relationship, that’s ownership. Ownership is born of control. We definitely don’t want that dynamic with our partner. A good partnership is transactional.

But a great relationship needs more than transactions. It needs growth. Love is not just compliance or trade. Love is working through it together.

The most important tools in productive arguments are reason, intention, perspective, and love.

If you could meet anyone, who would it be? Is there a single moment or experience that changed your life? Is there someone you consider to be your greatest teacher?

In productive arguments, we mutually agree on ways we’re both going to change our behavior going forward. Both partners are happy with the resolution.

Partners who avoid conflict don’t understand each other’s priorities, values, or struggles. Every couple fights—or should. Whatever you and your partner fight about, you’re probably not alone.

Who’s the most fascinating person you’ve ever met? What’s the most out-of-character thing you’ve ever done or would like to do? Have you ever had a big plot twist in your life? If you won the lottery, what would you spend the money on? What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? What is a tough thing you dealt with in your past? What makes

A committed romantic relationship highlights this awe and respect in a different way because there isn’t one guru and one student. You are both gurus and students for each other. We