3-2-1: On Being Yourself, How to Say No, and Using Boredom as a Filter

“Be yourself” is common advice for dating, interviews, making friends, giving presentations, networking, and almost any situation in life. It is well-intentioned advice that usually doesn’t help at all, because most of us don’t have a clear understanding of who we are. To be honest, we don’t spend a lot of time thinking about it.

The key to happiness wasn’t being yourself, because what did that even mean? Everyone had many selves. No. The key to happiness is finding the lie that suits you best.

As Oscar Wilde is thought to have said, “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken”: