Sublime

Though we may have our own wishes for how the conflict is resolved—especially if the conflict is between family, friends, or co-workers—we need to remember that we are not here to accomplish our own goals. The mediator’s role is to create an environment in which the parties can connect, express their needs, understand each other’s needs, and arrive

We can further clarify the request by indicating what we may want from the other person in the present moment, “Would you be willing to tell me how you feel about going to the show with me Saturday night?” The clearer we are regarding the response we want right now from the other party, the more effectively we move the conflict toward resolution.

NVC: a way of communicating that leads us to give from the heart.

A basic premise of NVC is that whenever we imply that someone is wrong or bad, what we are really saying is that he or she is not acting in harmony with our needs.

As we’ve seen, all criticism, attack, insults, and judgments vanish when we focus attention on hearing the feelings and needs behind a message. The more we practice in this way, the more we realize a simple truth: behind all those messages we’ve allowed ourselves to be intimidated by are just individuals with unmet needs appealing to us to contribu

It is my belief that all such analyses of other human beings are tragic expressions of our own values and needs. They are tragic because when we express our values and needs in this form, we increase defensiveness and resistance among the very people whose behaviors are of concern to us. Or, if people do agree to act in harmony with our values, the

The ability to hear our own feelings and needs and empathize with them can free us from depression.