Sublime

There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood. That is at the heart of being a good person, the ultimate gift you can give to others a

What they want to know is who they are outside of what they accomplish.

Katherine Sarafian, another Pixar producer, credits the clinical psychologist Taibi Kahler with giving her a helpful way of visualizing her role. “One of Kahler’s big teachings is about meeting people where they are,” Katherine says, referring to what Kahler calls the Process Communication Model,

Some years back, I was counseling a chiropractor new to practice and advised her to close her office for one day a week, call that “Marketing Day,” and devote that entire day to calling patients, visiting health food stores, calling on businesses, giving speeches, and so on. Left to be “fit in” as time allowed, most of these very productive things

Kyla Fullenwider, however, a social designer and cofounder of Imperative,

a skill that can one day morph into something even more powerful: a healthy, clear vision of who your ideal client is.

For people interested in learning more about the model, I recommend Kegan’s graduate student Jennifer Garvey Berger’s more recent and less academic book Changing on the Job.