Sublime

The path to love begins in our own past and its healing, then moves outward to relationships with others.

Paying attention and letting go are the twin tools that will be presented throughout these pages.

It is in mindfulness that we act in just that way: enduring our unknowing and yet sitting serenely.

Once we understand that love is our true identity, we realize that the skill of learning to love is mostly an undoing of the ego obstructions that have gradually overlaid our natural tendency toward loving. This means letting go of our ego entitlements and inflations. We then look for all the practices that can help that happen, especially those th

The practice sections in this book consist mainly of leading questions meant to challenge you to face and admit your own truth. They are meant to be answered in your journal and, when appropriate, aloud to your partner.

Attachment and dependence occur because we feel incomplete within ourselves; therefore, we seek objects, people, relationships, places, and concepts to fulfill inner needs.

Attachment—how is an attachment formed? First comes the contact with something that gives you pleasure: a car, an attractively advertised modern appliance, a word of praise, a person’s company. Then comes the desire to hold on to it, to repeat the gratifying sensation that this thing or person caused you. Finally comes the conviction that you will

We have boundaries but have erected no barrier,

maturation consists not in leaving needs behind but in recruiting supportive others who can give age-appropriate and generous responses to our needs.