Sublime

Attachment researchers think that the three “organized” attachment strategies (secure, avoidant, and anxious) work because they elicit the best care a particular caregiver is capable of providing.

The twentieth-century psychoanalyst Donald W. Winnicott observed that children playing within a certain radius of their mothers display higher levels of creativity in their games than those who play farther away.

Feeling safe allows children to work at the top of their emerging executive functions. (Think of those things successful executives need to do to run businesses: stay focused, meet challenges, have self-discipline, and flexibly adapt to changing circumstances.)

One of the best ways to promote this type of integration is to help retell the story of the frightening or painful experience.

a MEM learned from his mother to play the role of solicitous attentive caretaker whose only need is to serve her. He learned to do this in opposition to his true feelings. He carries this “talent” into adulthood. He can ignore his True Self and use his False Self to charm and manipulate woman.

Tuning in to the child’s emotional states and demonstrating empathy.

In terms of development, very young children are right-hemisphere dominant, especially during their first three years.

As the interpersonal neurobiologist Dan Siegel summarizes it, the mind uses the brain to make the mind.