What Great Parents Do: 75 Simple Strategies for Raising Kids Who Thrive

“I don’t like that behavior” or “[Name the behavior] is not okay.”

Learn to tolerate your child’s discomfort, so she can, too.

“It’s not okay for you to _________ because _________.”

To learn, children need lots of opportunities to try, try, and try again

I think of neural pathways as habits and beliefs—those things we find ourselves doing, thinking, and feeling without really trying. These can be habits of thought (such as pessimism or optimism), habits of feeling (such as gratitude or anxiety), and habits of behavior (such as saying “please” and “thank you” or clearing dishes from the table after

it’s helpful to consider, plan, and even practice alternative responses in advance, when we are calm and relaxed.

Since the goal of discipline is learning, discipline is not the same as punishment, which means “the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense.” There is a huge difference between discipline and punishment.

Using blame, shame, or fear will eventually backfire because these strategies don’t focus on the real problem (behavior) and imply instead that the child himself is the problem. This is a recipe for impaired well-being.

ONE OF THE keys to creating positive change in our lives is not just knowing what to do, but in actually doing what we know.